Season 9
by Princess-Summer
Summary: My first ever fanfic. This is the way I think season/series 9 should go. please read and review. *Episode 5 now up.*
1. TOW The baby

Season 9

  
**A/N: This is my first EVER fanfic! It's the way I think Season/Series Nine should go. You should know that I have not seen the last three episodes of Series 8-the last one I saw was when Joey tried to become a presenter on Bamboozled! So you should know where I am. Let's pretend that Rachel has given birth to a baby girl, and that is how "my" series eight ends, just her holding the baby, Ross looking on. Now, on with the scripts!**

  
_Episode One: TOW Rachel's baby._

  
_In the hospital room. Rachel is holding her baby girl close to her, and Ross is standing behind her, making cooey noises. The rest of the gang are not yet in the room._

  
Rachel: Oh my god Ross. We created her. She's so...perfect. She's wonderful.

  
Ross: Of course she is. She's got the most beautiful woman in the world as her mother.

  
Rachel: Aww Ross, thanks. _There is a moment's silence when Ross looks at Rachel_

  
Ross: Err, Rache, that's the point where you say: "She's got the most handsome man in the world as her father."

  
"Rachel: Well, Ross, I would, but my Mom told me never to lie.

  
Ross: Oh, ok. _He ignores the deliberate tease that Rachel has said, and strokes the baby's forehead._ What should we call her?

  
Rachel: You know, I haven't thought about that yet. I've just been so mesmerised by this little girl.

  
Ross: _nods._ Yeah, well I was thinking about Judy.

  
Rachel: _laughs_Yeah right Ross. That's such an old name.

  
Ross: Trixie?

  
Rachel: Too fairy-like.

  
Ross: Emma?

  
Rachel: That name is being used so much these days! I would normally pick it, but I'm not a sheep.

  
Ross: How about Jessie?

  
Rachel:_thinks_ yeah ok then. What about a middle name?

  
Ross: Well, I have a perfect idea. What about Karen?

  
Rachel: That's a good idea. Jessie Karen...Gellar-Green.

  
Ross: I like that Rache. Maybe one day it will just be Gellar.

  
Rachel: _not listening_ What did your daddy say Jessie Karen? What did he say? Ooh, oh no, Ross, she's crying, what do I do?

  
Ross: Sing?

  
Rachel: I can't sing! Don't you remember the shower incident?

  
Ross: Oh yeah, _laughs_ that was one of the best showers I've ever had.

  
_Rachel goes to hit him, and Ross laughs. Rachel smiles too._

  
Rachel: It would have been better if we'd been together when we had a child. Not that I'm saying I want....no, that's crazy, I would never date you again, I couldn't.

  
Ross: No! No, of course not.

  
_Ross and Rachel both look uncomfortable, when there is a knock. Ross goes to open the door, and Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe bundle in._

  
Rachel: Look Jessie! It's your aunts and uncles all come to pay homage!

  
Monica: Jessie? That's such a cute name!

  
Chandler: My dad was contmeplating changing his name to Jessica, then decided he'd keep it as Charles...

  
Joey: Wow, she's gorgeous! She's going to be a looker when she's older.

  
Phoebe: And I can teach her to play the guitar! Oh yay!

  
Rachel: Phoebe, maybe you could wait a little while for that, like when she's 40.

  
Phoebe: Yeah, sure. I'll only be 72.

  
Chandler: What's her middle name then?

  
Monica: I bet it's Karen-am I right?_ she takes the baby from Rachel, and starts singing softly to her._

  
Ross: Yeah, my idea. 

  
Joey: Well, where did you get that idea from then?

  
_Everyone looks at Joey in annoyance._

  
_Next scene: it is three days later. Mother and baby are home. Everyone is at Ross' apartment._

  
Joey: How come we never hang out here? Ross' apartment is so cool!

  
Monica: Haven't we had this conversation before?

  
Rachel: _feeding the baby._ I can't believe that I was worried about motherhood. It's so cool. I love doing this, it's brilliant.

  
Monica: I can't wait! I'm really looking forward to being a mother.

  
Chandler: She's not pregnant, don't worry. She's just...looking forward to it.

  
Phoebe: I never was a mother. Not really. And I don't remember my mother. She killed herself.

  
Rachel: I know, Phoebes, and I'm really sorry. Just don't spoil time as a mom.

  
Chandler: So, where do you keep the alcohol?

  
Rachel: Ross got rid of it, so I'm not tempted to drink with the baby. He made sure I didn't have one sip of wine while I was pregnant.

  
Joey: Ahh. That'll be the reason why we never hang out here.

  
Phoebe: Oh no!

  
Rachel: What? Phoebe, please don't shout around the baby.

  
Phoebe: Sorry, but I have to go. I have a client at three pm, and it's already 2:50! See you later.

  
Monica: Bye Phoebes. Rachel, Chandler and I have to go too. We've got dinner reservations at La petite....something.

  
Chandler: Yeah, so, we'd...err, we'd better go.

  
Rachel: _sensing something is up._ OK, guys, bye.

  
_Next scene: at Monica and Chandler's place._

  
Monica: We got out of that one then.

  
Chandler: Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, what about your career? You won't be able to work.

  
Monica: Who cares? Chandler, you know how much I want a kid, and anyway, I've never heard you argue about having sex.

  
Chandler: Yeah, but usually we...oh, it feels like something I have to do, if we do it like this. It...

  
Monica: Don't worry, I will try not to make it like that.

  
Chandler: Oh...oh, ok.

  
_Monica and Chandler go into the bedroom, we see that Rachel and Joey can see everything from Ross' window._

  
Rachel:I don't believe it!

  
Joey: Well, now we know that Monica has gone to la petite....

  
Rachel: _ warningly, covering the babies ears_ Joey!

  
Joey: What?

  
_Next scene: Monica and Chandler are in the living room part of the apartment. Monica is laying on the couch, and Chandler is watching TV._

  
Monica: Well, I hope that worked.

  
Chandler: I still feel like it was something I HAD to do.

  
Monica: Oh, shut up. You enjoyed it, and you know you did.

  
Chandler: Yeah well.

  
_There is a knock at the door. Chandler, after yawning, goes to answer it. It's Ross and Rachel, with Jessie._

  
Rachel: Have fun at "La Petite?"

  
Chandler: Oh...yeah, great fun.

  
Rachel: I bet you did. Anyway, we've come to ask you something. _She walks into the apartment, followed by Ross, and they go to sit with Monica. Chandler stands behind the couch._   
Monica: Hi, what?

  
Ross: Well, you know you two are going to be aunt and Uncle to Jessie-literally?

  
Chandler: Yes, so?

  
Rachel: Well, we were kind of wondering if you'd mind if just Joey and Phoebe were godparents. Ross wants this couple that he knows to be the other two godparents....do you mind?

  
Monica: No, of course not, do we Chandler?

  
Chandler: No, I guess not. Is that all?

  
Rachel: Yeah why, you trying to get rid of us?

  
Monica: Can I hold her, please? She's so sweet.

  
Rachel: Sure, you can hold her. Just don't drop her, and hold her head right. Oh, and make sure her back is supported, and...

  
Ross: Rachel, stop eating the baby books.

  
Rachel: Sorry! Aww, you look like you're right at home with her, Mon.

  
Monica: I know. I hope I get lucky this time.

  
_Ross and Rachel look at her._

  
Chandler: We're trying for a baby.

  
Ross: Oh, that's wondeful. Then Jessie will have a little cousin!

  
Monica: Yeah, but the thing is, we've been trying since we got married. That was a year ago. I really think something's wrong with me.

  
Chandler: Honey, don't cry, please. There's nothing wrong with you. And, we haven't been trying non-stop, we've only just started, you know.

  
Monica: Yeah, I guess. _Hand's the baby back to Rachel, as it starts to whimper._

  
Rachel: I think this little one needs changing. Good luck, anyway Mon.

  
Monica: Thanks Rache. See you later?

  
Ross: Why don't you come round later? I've stocked in with orange juice, cranberry, and even...check this out...coke!

  
Chandler: Score!

  
Ross: Yeah, well I don't want alcohol in the house. I mean, apartment. That's a thought-maybe we should buy a house....

  
Rachel: Good night you two. I'll get Ross out your way before he puts a down payment on a castle.

  
_Last scene: Everyone is in Central Perk, all sitting down drinking coffee. Jessie is being held by Joey, who keeps watching Rachel adoringly._

  
Rachel: I feel like we haven't done this in ages!

  
Ross: Well, we haven't. Not all of us, have we? I feel normal now, back where I belong.

  
Monica: You romantic you.

  
Chandler: No, he's right, it does feel right now. Even though one of us has had a baby, two of us are married, one is in the new big movie coming out next month, and another has not played the guitar since the night I proprosed to you, I feel normal now.

  
Phoebe: Actually, I'm not in the new movie coming out.

  
Joey: Phoebes, he means me.

  
Phoebe: Oh. Well, I'm not married. And I certainly haven't had a baby-not recently, anyway.

  
Chandler: Then...

  
Phoebe: You left me out!

  
Chandler: I give up, I really do.

  
Monica: And it just got better.

  
Ross: What just got better?

  
Monica: Our news. I'm pregnant.

  
_End shot...everyone stares at Monica, the baby is crying, sucking on Joey's shirt. Monica looks as pleased as punch, and Chandler looks bemused._

  
**NEXT EPISODE COMING SOON! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.**


	2. TOW Phoebe kisses Joey

TOW Phoebe kisses Joey

  
_Episode 2_

  
_Scene 1: Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are watching TV. Rachel is holding a sleeping Jessie. Phoebe, Joey, and Ross are not there yet._

  
Rachel: And when's it due?

  
Monica: The doctor says I was actually "with child" as he called it before that day Chandler and I went to La Petite.

  
Chandler: In other words, eight months.

  
Rachel: That is so brilliant! So when little Jessie is 9 months old, she'll have a baby cousin! They'll be such good friends!

  
Chandler: And I'm gonna make sure that Monica does absolutely nothing in the couple of months before birth.

  
Rachel: Aww Mon, you're so lucky. Ross didn't even think about that.

  
Monica: I know. Chandler has been so helpful, and I actually believe that he's looking forward to it now.

  
Chandler:_ indignantly_ I've always looked forward to it!

  
Monica: OK, whatever.

  
Rachel: So your dream has come true, Mon. You're going to be a mommy! Does Jack and Judy know?

  
Monica: Oh no! I forgot to tell Mom and Dad! Chandler, ring them.

  
Chandler: Me? Why do I have to ring them? I don't want to...

  
_Phone rings._

  
Monica: Chandler, answer that please.

  
Chandler:_ bowing_ As you wish, your highness. _Answers phone._ Hello? Judy, how lovely to hear from you...Yes, well she is quite tired due to her current condition...what condition? Oh, just a small matter, the doctor says it will go away in nine months..._Monica chucks a pillow at Chandler, who grins_ Yeah, she is...I know! It's amazing...we can't either....ok, you're hurting my ears now Mrs Geller...yeah, ok. Monica, she wants to speak to you hon.

  
Monica: Hi mom...I know, it's brilliant. Yeah, ok. Sure! Chandler will cook, though...yeah, you don't have to stay for dinner. Ok. See you later. Love you. Bye.

  
Chandler: Are you trying to say that there is something wrong with my cooking?

  
Monica: No, my mom IS saying that there is something wrong with your cooking.

  
_Scene two: the coffee house. Joey and Phoebe are sitting, chatting about rubbish. No one else is there._

  
Joey: So, isn't it great about Monica? Being...pregnant, and all.

  
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess it is. It always makes me upset though, when I think that I'll probably never have kids.

  
Joey: You never know. The right sperm donor might be right around the corner!

  
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess.

  
Joey: Or the right guy.

  
Phoebe: I doubt that. I've had enough of guys for one lifetime.

  
Joey: Oh. That's a pity. 

  
Phoebe: Joe...how are things with you and Rache? I saw the way you were looking at her a couple of weeks ago. You really do love her, don't you?

  
Joey: Oh, no, of course not. I'm Joey! You know me, I get caught up on a new woman every week..._he laughs weakly._

  
Phoebe: How about we go out for a meal, tonight? You can chat to me, like we used to. I feel like I haven't talked to you for ages. Not properly.

  
Joey: Well...ok, I guess.

  
Phoebe: Around seven? At the Italian round the corner.

  
_Joey's face lights up. Phoebe grins._

  
Joey: Well, I suppose I could manage to make my way to the Italian. See you later, Phoebes.

  
_Scene Three: Ross' apartment. He is pacing around. Rachel and the baby are not there._

  
Ross:_ to himself_ Rachel Green, will you...please...no, that sounds desperate. Rache, no, too informal, Rachel Green, will you marry me...but does she love me? Oh, I'm so confused...

  
_The door opens, Rachel comes in, pulling in a pram._

  
Rachel: Hi Ross, god I've been so busy, what with seeing Monica, and then I had to go in to the shops to pick up a few things. I really need a sit down, how about you?

  
Ross: Err, Rache, I need to ask you something.

  
Rachel: Well, if it's anything to do with that bottle of wine in the fridge, I don't know. It must have flown in, cos I certainly didn't buy it...

  
Ross: I bought it. Rache, I need to ask you something...

  
Rachel: But why did you buy wine? I can't believe you're telling me not to drink it and then buying yourself some....

  
Ross: RACHE, LET ME TALK! The wine is for you...if you agree to my...ahem, proprosal...

  
Rachel: Huh?

  
_Ross gets down on one knee. Rachel gasps._

  
Ross: Rache, shoot....Rachel Green, will you marry me?

  
_Rachel sits down, and keeps gulping for air. Ross kneels in front of her, in a silly pose._

  
Rachel: Oh god...Ross, I don't know. I mean, I still have feelings for you, and I guess I could love you...but I don't at the moment, not really. Well, truth is, I haven't...

  
Ross: Rache, don't babble. I don't mind what you choose, honest. It's up to you. Only, fi you say no, please don't tell anyone.

  
Rachel: Can you give me a couple of weeks, Ross? I need to think about it. I'm not saying no, just not yes either.

  
Ross: OK. _stands up_ That's fine.

  
_Rachel hugs Ross tightly. As she pulls away, he moves in and they kiss gently, then more passionately._

  
_Scene Four: The Italian._

  
Joey: I'll have the pizza, with all the toppings, and a bowl of salad.

  
Phoebe: And I'll have half a veggie, please.

  
Joey: Half? You'll never eat half. You barely eat anything.

  
Phoebe: _ winks_ Ahh, you just wait. I can eat a camel.

  
Joey: No you can't. You're a vegetarian.

  
Phoebe: I could eat a carrot-camel.

  
Joey: Thanks for offering to pay, Phoebe. It's so nice of you to take me out.

  
Phoebe: Yeah, well anything to see you smile.

  
Joey: I just can't stop thinking about Rachel. I don't know why, though, cos really, I don't love her. It's lust, or I'm just attracted to her.

  
Phoebe: Probably both. Look, Joe, I know that this is a bad time for you, so I am here, whenever you wanna talk. And I have candy.

  
Joey: Thanks Phoebe. You're the best.

  
_Without realising, both Joey and Phoebe move in and kiss gently. Joey pulls away, looking confused._

  
Joey: What the hell happened?

  
Phoebe: Oh god, Joe, that's not what you needed. I'm sorry. Please, I didn't mean to.

  
Joey: It's...it's ok. I just feel really uncomfortable now. If you excuse me, I need to go to the mens room.

  
_Joey leaves the table. Phoebe buries her head in her hands._

  
_Last Scene: Monica's. Monica and Chandler are there, with Joey._

  
Chandler: She kissed you?

  
Joey: Well, we both sorta kissed each other. And...yeah, it was nice. But not what I need, as she said.

  
Monica: Look Joe, ever since you first met, we've all wondered about you two. You seem right for each other. But I can't tell you what to do. Neither can Chandler. You need to work it out yourself.

  
Joey: I wish you could.

  
Chandler: She's right, Joe. Sorry.

  
Monica: So anyway, what about Rachel?

  
Joey: That's the problem. I can't give up on her.

  
Chandler: _gently_ Haven't you heard?

  
Joey: What? What, I haven't heard anything. I've been out with Phoebe, haven't I?

  
Monica: Ross proprosed to her, and from what I heard, she's probably going to say yes.

  
Joey: Oh...well, that solves that one, doesn't it? _laughs weakly, standing up._ I really am not having a lot of luck these days. There was one point when I could get a girl to fall over for me, now the one I really loved might marry my best friend..well, one of my best friends.

  
Chandler: Joe...if you love Rachel, you need to tell her. But don't hurt Phoebe. She likes you too.

  
Joey: OK. I think I know what I've got to do.

  
_Episode Three coming soon! Read and Review!_


	3. TO With Chandler's Dilemma

TO With Chandler's dilemma.

  
**Summary: Chandler, the one who was non-commital, suddenly realises what a responsibiltity it's going to be, having a kid. Please Read and Review. And thanks for all your kind reviews!**

  
_Episode 3_

  
_Scene 1: Monica's. It is two weeks after the last episode. She is one and a half months pregnant. Chandler is watching TV, Joey is eating in the dining room, and Monica is in the bathroom._

  
Joey: Got any jam?

  
Chandler: _over his shoulder._ Yeah, it's underneath the tub of ice cream that you devoured half an hour ago.

  
Joey: Yeah, sorry about that. It's just...I dunno, I like ice cream.

  
Chandler: I'd be wondering why you ate it all if you didn't.

  
Monica: (O/S) Chandler, do we have any toildt paper in the cabinet? I've run out in here.

  
Chandler: Hang on Mon. _goes into bedroom. There is a knock at the door._

  
Joey: Who is it?

  
Rachel: (O/S) It's me, can you open up?

  
Joey: Erm...well, I could, I guess.

  
Rachel: Yes, so could you?

  
_Joey gets up and hesitantly opens the door. Rachel doesn't notice his cautiousness and flurries in._

  
Rachel: Listen, Joey, I think I'm going to say no to Ross. Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, I like him and all, but it desn't feel right to do it just for Jessie. What do you think?

  
Joey: Where IS Jessie?

  
Rachel: Aw crap..._runs outside and comes back in wheeling a pushchair._ so anyway...

  
Joey: Rache, listen a minute will ya?

  
Rachel: What is it? Joe, I have to give Ross his answer in like two minutes.

  
Joey: Rache...Monica and Chandler said I should tell you...and I wasn't going to, I mean you and Ross should be together...it's...well, the thing is, I still have these huge feelings for you.

  
Rachel: Wh...what?

  
Joey: I'm going now. Just...bear that in mind, ok?

  
Rachel: Huh? Er...ok, Joe, see ya.

  
Joey: Bye..._walks out dejectedly, Rachel looks after him but can't say anything. She feels too sorry for him._

  
_Scene 2: Ross'. Rachel and Ross are talking when Monica flies in, with Chandler close behind._

  
Monica: So, what is it? Oh tell me, I'm wetting myself here!

  
Ross: I thought you said you wouldn't tell anyone? _ to Rachel._

  
Rachel: Mon...we're getting married.

  
_Monica looks really happy...but then her smile fades when she sees the faces of Ross and Rachel-they look anything but happy._

  
Monica: What's wrong? You should be happy, happy, happy.

  
Ross:Yeah...we're only doing it for Jessie. It somehow doesn't feel right, but we will probably learn to like each other...

  
Monica: Oh.

  
Chandler: Hey, I'm happy! My best mate's getting married!

  
_There is a pause._

  
Chandler: I'll just go and stand over there then...

  
_Scene Three: At Joey's. Chandler is sitting with his head in his hands. Joey comes in, rather surprised to see him there._

  
Joey: What's up, Chandler?

  
Chandler: Oh nothing. Except you're probably going to be in a bad...and I mean bad...mood for the rest of your life.

  
Joey: I know, I just heard.

  
Chandler: Well, you don't look too upset.

  
Joey: Well, I can always have pepperami.

  
Chandler: Pardon me?

  
Joey: Well, I like sweetcorn and olives, but I won't kill myself over it. Pepperami is a close second.

  
Chandler: Joey, I got lost at the pepperami point of this conversation. What has pepperami got to do with Ross and Rachel getting married?

  
_Joey's eyes grow wide, and Chandler realises that Joey didn't know. Joey looks upset, and sits down heavily on the stool in the kitchen._

  
Joey: Man, I thought you were talking about Pizza Hut!

  
Chandler: Well, I too was very upset when they finished making Sweetcorn and olives, but do you really think that that is why I came round here today?

  
Joey: It could have been.

  
Chandler: I suppose it could.

  
_Monica walks in, and Chandler immediately escorts her to a chair. She smiles at him._

  
Monica: I was looking for you everywhere. God Chandler, you're gonna be such a good dad to this baby.

  
Chandler: Yeah, I'm...ahh, my throats gone dry...dad did you say?

  
Monica: Well, yeah.

  
Chandler: Excuse me one moment. _He leaves the room, Joey shrugs at Monica._

  
_Scene 4: Central Perk. Chandler and Rachel are drinking._

  
Rachel: Chandler, for gods sake, it's perfectly normal for a first-time-dad to get nervous.

  
Chandler: Yeah, but look what happened last time. I nearly left Monica, for gods sake. I need help. I am allergic to commitment.

  
Rachel: Well, y'know, they have tablets for that. They're called "Commit-All."

  
Chandler: Seriously?

  
Rachel: No! Chandler, you need to get over this, otherwise you could lose Monica again, and you don't want that do you? Need I remind you of Mr. Moustachious?

  
Chandler: What?

  
Rachel: Oh forget it. Just a little nickname I had for someone who USED to have a hairy thing on his upper lip.

  
Chandler: What, the berk?

  
Rachel: _laughing._ Surprised I never thought of that myself. I like that one.

  
Chandler: Apparently I yell it out very aggresively in my sleep.

  
Rachel: Ha. Anyway, back to the topic. Chandler, tell Monica if you're worried.

  
_Quick scene change to Monica's apartment._

  
Monica: WHAT?

  
Chandler: I thought you'd understand...

  
Monica: Oh I understand all right. I understand that you are practically making me get an abortion!

  
Chandler: NO! I just wanna talk through this. You need to help me, please Mon. 

  
Monica: I guess. But I can't believe you sometimes!

  
Chandler: I can't believe me either. Sometimes I wake up and think: Wow, I can't believe that I am me.

  
Monica: Stupidity will get you nowhere. But...ok, I shouldn't have laughed at you. That was mean.

  
Chandler: It was. Now I feel really upset..._begins to suck his thumb in a mock-baby routine._

  
Monica: Don't! Don't you dare make me laugh while I'm cross with you.

  
Chandler: Well pardon me for breathing.

  
Monica: Listen...why don't we go out tonight? My treat as I got good pay last week. Loads of people turned up at the restaurant to wish me luck. They can be so nice, when they're not looking for free food.

  
Chandler: I'd like that. I feel like I haven't spent a lot of time with you lately.

  
Monica: Well,we could always make up for it.

  
Chandler: Monica! Not in front of the children!

  
_Monica laughs and pulls Chandler into the bedroom (probably to play Snakes and Ladders...who knows? :) _

  
_ Scene 5: Phoebe is at Monica's with Joey. Monica and Chandler have gone out and said that they could use the place to chat._

  
Joey: I think we need to sort our situation out.

  
Phoebe: From what I can tell, we don't have a situation. That kiss...it was nice. But it didn't mean anything to me. I mean...it could, but one kiss doesn't change our lives.

  
Joey: No, but maybe it should. I mean, I'm pretty old now, even after all my chats with Him In The Sky, but maybe he'll let me skip my fortieth. And I need to settle down.

  
Phoebe: Joey, you can't just "get with me" because there's no one else. Follow your heart-and if the path leads down my way, let me know. _kisses him gently on the cheek-goes to get her bag and leaves Joey in a confused state._

  
**THE END OF EPISODE THREE. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. SORRY FOR LEAVING IT LIKE THAT.**


	4. TO With Phoebe and Joey

TO With Joey and Phoebe

  
**Summary: Joey and Phoebe talk it through. Only satrring Phoebe and Joey, sorry people. Will get back to normal after this special.**

  
_Episode 4_

  
_Scene 1: Joey's._

  
Joey kept going over the conversation in his head. Sitting alone in his apartment, he couldn't help but wonder what was happening, why he felt so strongly about two women. He didn't know who meant more to him. He was Joey, he never loved anyone...except perhaps his mom, but that was different.

  
He wished he could talk to Chandler, but he had taken Monica to Atlantic City for a little holiday, and Ross and Rachel were talking to a wedding planner. He couldn't talk to Phoebe, obviously. He would need to sort this out normally, without any Joeyish attitude.

  
So, he thought. Let's use the old "Quick Question Routine." He pictured Chandler asking him questions, in his head. What do you prefer: jam or marmite? Jam. Who's your best friend Chandler or Ross? Chandler. Who do you love, Rachel or Phoebe? Err...

  
Joey sighed. That didn't work. He'd tried it earlier that day, and it was always the same response. Who would he save if he was in a burning building? Both-one under each arm.

  
"Damn you!" he cried, banging his fist on the worktop- and hurting his hand rather badly. Wincing with the pain, he managed to get to the first aid kit, but he knocked the box on the floor.

  
"Need a hand?" asked someone behind him. He turned quickly, and grinned sheepishly.

  
"I always do," he admitted, as Phoebe walked in. She picked up the box and handed it to him, a cheeky smile on her face.

  
"Have you had time to think about where your path goes?" she asked, sitting on the worktop. Joey leaned against it and sighed again.

  
"I've tried so hard to figure out what's going on in my life," he said. "I'm in love with two women in my life."

  
"Are you sure?" asked Phoebe, looking distraught. She felt so sorry for Joey sometimes. She rested her hand on his shoulder. "I wish it was easier for you, Joe."

  
Joey nodded. "Believe me, so do I. Do you want something to drink?"

  
"What have you got?" asked Phoebe, interested.

  
Joey opened the fridge. It was filled to the top with beer. Phoebe laughed.

  
"You've got a wide choice," he said, laughing himself. He got a beer out for him, and another for her. She opened them both, and they sipped them.

  
"I feel like I can be myself around you," he admitted. "And Rachel...well, she IS getting married. But somehow I feel like I'm giving up on her."

  
Phoebe looked upset. Joey felt bad too, and tried to hug her, but she dodged it and he nearly fell over. In some strange way, she felt left out, as if she was second choice to the wonderful Rachel. For the second time in her whole life, she felt jealous.

  
"Let's go for a walk," Joey suggested. Phoebe agreed. "I'd like that," she said. She slipped her arm through his, and they left the apartment, the beer cans half full on the work top.

  
_Scene 2: The "football" ground._

  
Joey felt like they were looking back. They reached the famous Thanksgiving playing field, where they had left Monica and Ross fighting over who won the game. Phoebe had been good, she had been on Joey's team at one point.

  
"There sure are memories here," she said, smiling. "Do you remember where it all began?"

  
Joey remembered. In the coffee house was where all six of them had suddenly met. Rachel had come rushing in, ditching her husband-to-be at the altar. Joey had even hit on her that day. He reembered that incident fondly, not because it was Rachel but because life seemed...carefree then. He made people laugh. Recently, he had been too serious. He needed to let go, like Phoebe did.

  
But even Phoebe looked serious. She had always liked Joey, though had often hid it. She remembered on her 30th/31st birthday, Joey had given her a kiss. She would always remember it, she knew. Plus, he was part Portuguese.

  
"Do you remember when we all found out about Chandler and Monica? You were so funny then," Joey remembered, laughing.

  
_Flashback:   
"I can't kiss you!" Chandler cried.   
"And why not?" asked Phoebe triumphantly.   
Chandler hesitated, but only for a second. "Because I'm in love with Monica! That's right, I love her, I love her!"_

  
"You undid my blouse," Phoebe remembered, chuckling. "I remember now. Very easily, as well."

  
"I've had practise," said Joey, in an almost Joeyish way again. He smiled at least.

  
"You know, my most fondest memories are with you, or something to do with you," thought Phoebe aloud.

  
"Well Rachel and Monica can't be much of a laugh," replied Joey. Phoebe nodded.

  
"Well, they're not. Monica's married AND pregnant now, and Rachel's been pregnant recently, and has now got a kid. You're really the only person I talk to properly."

  
Joey felt really bad. "I don't know what to say to that," he admitted. "I wish I could tell you now that I wanted to...that I liked you like that."

  
Phoebe suddenly felt angry. She had been understanding enough. "Look, Joe, most couples don't start with people loving each other! Can't you just give us a go? When you have an answer, find me at Central Perk."

She stormed off, leaving Joey again, upset and pondering.

  
_Scene 3: Central Perk._

  
"A coffee please Gunther," said Phoebe. (OK I lied-Gunther also appears :s) She took the cup and went to sit down, putting her bag down for the first time in a couple of hours. She was getting fed up with all this to-ing and fro-ing, and needed time to herself to think.

  
Do I love Joey? she thought. I love him, yes, as a friend, but would I love him if I let myself? Probably yes. She was confusing herself, when she felt a shadow over her body. She looked up, and it was Joey. His expression was unreadable.

  
**I've done this to make sure you read the next part. It will be scripts again, but the first thing a character says will tell you what Joey has decided-and believe me, he HAS made up his mind. Tell me what you want to happen, just for fun! Read and Review please.**


	5. TOW Everyone finds Out

TOW Everyone finds Out.

  
**Summary: But WHAT do they find out? Read...and review!**

  
_Episode 5._

  
_Scene 1: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are relaxing on the sofa._

  
Monica: Heard anything from Joey yet?

  
Chandler: Not a thing. Atlantic City seems to be the hot spot for people nowadays.

  
Monica: And Phoebe's gone to stay with Frank. Suspicious?

  
Chandler: Joe wouldn't know how to be suspicious if it hit him in the face.

  
Monica: I guess. I just wish one of them would contact us to tell us what was happening.

  
_Rachel runs in, waving her hands around. Jessie is strapped to her back._

  
Rachel: Monica! Chandler! You'll never guess what!

  
Chandler: You've gone down a size!

  
Rachel: Believe me, if that had happened, it would be on CNN. No, Phoebe and Joey are an item! Isn't that brilliant?

  
Monica: Wow! Really? How do you know?

  
Rachel: Phoebes rang me. They're both at Atlantic City. Aren't they jammy?

  
Chandler: Jammy?

  
Rachel: Never mind.

  
Monica: Wow. You know what I've just realised? We're all paired up now.

  
Chandler: Yeah....you and I, Rache and Ross....and now Joe and Phoebes.

  
Rachel: It's sad in a way, isn't it? The end of an era, of just us six messing about. We've all got responsiblities.

  
Chandler: Talking of them, when's the wedding?

  
Rachel: Ooh, it's really exciting! I...I mean, we....are getting married in London.

  
Chandler+Monica: LONDON?

  
Rachel: Yeah, why?

  
Chandler: Haven't you forgotten a little British person called Emily?

  
Rachel: Oh, you're right...we didn't invite her! _ leaves the coffee house. Monica laughs. Chandler stares at the door in amazement._

  
Chandler: Either she hasn't had her pills...or I haven't had mine.

  
_Scene 2: Atlantic City. Phoebe and Joey are leaving._

  
Phoebe: Aftershave?

  
Joey: Check.

  
Phoebe: Dictionary?

  
Joey: I didn't take a dictionary. YOU did. YOU thought Atlantic City was in Brazil.

  
Phoebe: Well how was I to know?

  
Joey: I don't know.

  
Phoebe: I'm so glad we got together Joe. You make me laugh so much. We are good for each other, aren't we?

  
Joey: Of course we are, hun. And I'll try EVERYTHING to make it work, believe me.

  
Phoebe: I love you Joe.

  
Joey: Err...well, I'll take these cases down.

  
Phoebe: Joe, it's ok. I don't expect you to say it back...yet.

  
Joey: Yeah, well, erm, give me time, yeah?

  
_Scene 3: Rachel's apartment. Ross is singing loudly._

  
Rachel: Ross, with all due respect, shut up. Jessie can't sleep.

  
Ross: Sorry Rache. I'm just so happy. And you're sure you don't....

  
Rachel: Ross! I don't mind where you last got married, honest. I... well, let's just say I'm really looking forward to getting married to you...this time!

  
Ross: It's your second marriage-to me!

  
Rachel: We've established that factor, Ross. Chandler and Monica said they'll pop over later. Mon's hardly put on any weight, and she's two and a half months pregnant.

  
Ross: What stage is the baby at now? Do you know?

  
Rachel: According to my book, the baby is...well, it's...it looks remarkably like a tiny little baby. But it's very small.

  
Ross: K. Do you want anything to eat?

  
_Jessie yawns obviously. Rachel laughs, and picks her up. She takes her towards the bedroom._

  
Rachel: I think this little one needs a nap. I'll take her to bed. You do yourself something. I'm not that hungry, to be honest, but do me a cup of coffee.

  
Ross: OK hun. Night night, little Jessie. Sleep tight.

  
Rachel: _as Jessie_ Night night Daddy.

  
Ross: See you later Rache. I need to talk to you about soemthing quite important.

  
Rachel: OK. I'll wait in anticipation then!

  
_Scene 3: Joey's apartment. Joey comes in with Phoebe and they go to get a beer, when Chandler and Monica jump up from behind the TV, making Joey drop his can._

  
Monica: Surprise! Why didn't you ring us? Rachel told us eventually.

  
Chandler: Good luck, Joe. You're going to get a very big telling off from a pregnant woman.

  
Joey: What are you guys doing here? I didn't expect to see you. I thought Monica would be at hospital, giving birth or something.

  
Chandler: Joey, what do you know about childbirth?   
Joey: Ahh, this is my speciality. What happens is, there is a LOT of sex, and then the woman suddenly get's this baby inside her, and then after about 9 weeks she goes into hospital and the doctor cuts a hole in her stomach and wham! There's a baby.

  
Chandler: 10 out of ten ... for creativity.

  
Joey: Thanks man.

  
Monica: Anyway Phoebe, you must be really chuffed. I mean, dating Joey and all.

  
Phoebe: Yay! I'm very excited. And you must be too, what with the baby and everything.

  
Monica: Phoebes, are you getting broody?

  
Joey: She's not a hen, Mon, don't be silly. Geez!

  
Chandler: Joey, I thknk one of these days, I need to talk to you about women.

  
Joey: Cool! I'd like that man,

  
_Scene 4: Rachel's. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch._

  
Rachel: So what was it you wanted to talk about Ross?

  
Ross: Oh yeah. Well, I was thinking about making an investment.

  
Rachel: Oh really? In what?

  
Ross: Err....in a bed.

  
Rachel: Oh.

  
Ross: A double bed.

  
Rachel: Ahh....

  
Ross: And I needed to know if it would be wise.

  
Rachel: Well yeah, I guess. Only if I took my time...you know, moving in.

  
Ross: Of course, sure, yeah, I understand. _There is an uncomfortable silence. Rachel breaks it by dropping her glass of wine._

  
Ross: Oh no! What....never mind, I'll clear it up. I don't want to end up like Monica.

  
Rachel: Don't worru, I'll do it.

  
_Their hands reach for the cloth. They touch each others hand, neither pulls away._

  
**I'll finish it there. Erm...I'm kinda getting writers block for this. I'm going to start another story soon, and keep coming back to this. Please read and review. Episode 6 coming soon!**


End file.
